Feelings all out.
Guess what people?Nah.. Nothing.
I have this problem.
A major problem that has been living
within myself.
I wanted so much to abolish it.
But, somehow, it stuck with me forever.
Or maybe, for life? I don't know.
I may be smiling all day.
I may be laughing like nobody's business.
I may be the girl in class who always create noises
randomly, out of nowhere, making the whole
class laughing.
I may be the one whom people
might be thinking that I'm happy with my life.
Well, the real fact is, I'm not.
Totally the reversible of what I've stated above.
I do all that for a reason.
To try and make myself forgetting HIM.
But Aini, who seem to be strong physically,
is basically weak emotionally.
I do things that I shouldn't suppose to do like
calling HIM. Texting HIM. Hello Aini??!!
Where have your senses gone to? To the drain?!!
Gosh! People has been asking me to move on.
To keep things positive. To be optimistic.
But, I just can't simply because I treasure those moments
we had. I just couldn't believe that he seems to be very
happy with how things go. Maybe, he's pretending too, like me.
I just couldn't accept the fact that I do the searching.
I should be running while he should be doing the catching up.
I don't find him turning back to me. I don't find him to find me
that important to him because if he did, he should be doing all those that I've
been expecting him to do.
However, I do feel his concerns.
If he regards me as nothing, then why he kiss me on my
forehead, still?
You know, I miss the moment he placed his lips onto mine.
That was when all your adrenaline rush through your veins.
All your indescribable feelings just rush up to your brain. And those
speechless moments where you and your loved ones will just be the only
one who will witness what true love means.
Whenever I miss him, I will always close my eyes
and imagine that he's there,
right in front of me. Even for now, while
I was typing out all these, the only one who
is in my mind is no one else other than Norishzam Bin Saat.
I don't know why but I'm tearing right now.
I don't care if you're gonna be angry for I type
out your name here.
I've nowhere else to pour out my feelings to
right now other than this blog of mine
which has been witnessing my problems
ever since I created it.
And the song that all of you are hearing right now is the
first song he dedicated it to me. This is the song he will always sing to me
whenever we fought. And now, I'm dedicating this song back to him.
Just for you my dear, Izam. );
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This is the complete photos of us.
I'm glad to announce that W54H malay sexy ladies
are getting to be united as one, divided we fall.
Hoorayy!!
***************************************************************
Apart from that, this is for you Baby.
I'm sorry Baby. Please Forgive Me.
It has been such a drastic day today.
I wouldn't want to elaborate much.
Been feeling sucky this few days.
I wasn't being me. I was just somebody else.
I just showed my true colors to Mr Boyfriend.
Poor him. He just absorbed whatever that
I say to him after all the shits I have pour out to him.
He really don't deserve my insults to him.
My saying of names to him.
My vulgarities to him.
My shoutings to him.
It sucks terribly. The feeling. It's just indescribable.
Oh God, Forgive me for every single
thing that I've said to Norishzam,
for I really love him for who he is.
Only through blogging that I feel much better.
The feeling of escapade is there.
Signing off,
Nurul Aini
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